Screenplay of ASIA: THE MOVIE

27 Jun Humour

Swifty says:

Suddenly ANDY LAU flies in from the Magical Wu-Xia Mountain and fires Qi blasts at ROBIN SHOU and JET LI. Both are fazed long enough for KEN WATANABE and MIN-SIK CHOI to kill them. ANDY LAU begins fighting with MIN-SIK CHOI.

“After I kill you, I’ll OPEN THE GATES OF HELL!” MIN-SIK CHOI says. He uses evil Chinese magic to raise the dead. On the battlefield below, dead ninjas, samurai, and monks return to life as flesh-eating zombies! The battlefield is reduced to total chaos!

“Never, monster!” ANDY LAU yells.

ZHANG ZIYI and LUCY LIU have realized that their shared status as violent Asian women forces them to team up to defeat the Korean leaders, NICOLAS CAGE and BAE-YONG JUN.

After reading an entry called ‘The Whites Will Always Be Better Than Asians, Says Hollywood’, my gwailo guestblogger Justin decides to prove that Hollywood (and the gwailos) are definitely more sensitive than most would’ve thought. Hell, Justin probably doesn’t even mind me calling him a gwailo either.

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